Three Monkeys

Three monkeys once dining in a coconut tree

Were discussing some things they heard to be true.
What do you think? Now listen you two -
Here, Monkeys, is something that cannot be true,
That Humans descended from our pure race;
Why, it's simply shocking - a terrible disgrace!

Who ever heard of a Monkey deserting his wife?
Let a baby starve and ruin its life?
And have you ever known of a mother monk
To leave her darling with a stranger to bunk?
Their babies are handed from one to another
And scarce even to know the love of a mother!

And, I've never known a Monkey so selfish to be
As to build a big fence around his tree
So other Monkeys can't get a wee taste,
But would let all the coconuts there go to waste
Why' if I'd put a fence around this coconut tree,
Starvation would force you to steal from me.

And here is another thing a Monkey won't do -
Seek a bootlegger's shanty, and get in a stew;
Carouse and go on a whopper, disgracing his life
Then reel madly home and beat up his wife!
They call this all a pleasure and make a big fuss,
They descended from something but not from us!

- author, unknown